They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
