Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
