can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
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