i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
