on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
