Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
We were destined to go to rehab together
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize