peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
