no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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