To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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