glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
