So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
