Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
