the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
