Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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