never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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