I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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