Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
