Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
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