we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
