the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
