It's Friday. Sex?
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
