i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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