I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize