It's just like the Real World with babies
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
