I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Randomize
