This is not my ceiling
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
