all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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