The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
