just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
operation have a gay friend backfired
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
