No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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