that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
