I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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