Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
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