dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
