Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
you never un-have a 4some
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
