She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
