i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
