K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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