only you would photoshop your dick
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
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