It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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