i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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