how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Randomize
