i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
