Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
