PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
