I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
