I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
