He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
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