Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
