I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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