whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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