i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
