I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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