He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Damn victory sex feels great
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
