Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
