I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I think people are normalizing furries
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
