her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
