So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
