We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
