Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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