The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
