Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
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