Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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